Remember to Learn to Forget
by Thegirlsmiles
Summary: Just a little story about Whatsername and Johnny, focuses on Whatsername's perspective on their relationship. The rating has changed, as the story is heating up.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: Do I own American Idiot? I sure don't! Thanks to the usual suspects and especially Green Day for an amazing musical! Also, I don't own the brands that I called out by name. I'm lazy. Questions/Comments, please review! Xo._

It had been a very long day. Granted, she had only lived in the city for four months and she surmised that she should give it more of a chance but after the incidents on the 1 train that occurred on the daily, she was ready to throw in the towel. But in her heart of hearts she knew she couldn't go back to suburbia. It had taken her twenty three years and a college degree to finally escape. She was finally getting settled in the city and had a decent job at a nonprofit. The city was electric. She was clearly staying. But she had to admit that the men leering on the subway and on the streets were getting old. And she was lonely, she missed her college friends. The pottery and yoga classes only filled up four hours a week ... what was she supposed to do for the rest of her free time?

She wearily climbed upstairs to her third floor walk up and threw her tote bag near the coat rack and hung up her coat. The leaves were finally starting to turn for which she was thankful. It had been a miserably hot summer. She thought about what to make for dinner ... she couldn't stomach another Lean Cuisine and she figured that she needed to unwind before she made a big decision on dinner. She put her hair up in a messy ponytail, still deciding. Then she remembered her Cloves. She bent down in the bag to reach them and put her coat back on. She walked to the window and opened it, making sure the ashtray was in its usual spot.

She light one and inhaled, savoring the herbal taste. On the exhale, she mused about how ironic it was that she was smoking and going to yoga but this was what made her happy. She snubbed it out and put the butt in the ashtray. It was a beautiful out, it was twilight and it was just cold enough for a coat but not freezing. She could feel the tension in her shoulders relaxing. Then she decided to look down. To her surprise, some kid who looked to be her age, was staring back at her. He was pretty cute. She was oddly pleased but also annoyed ... why couldn't she stand in the privacy in her bedroom and smoke in peace? Why were guys always looking at her? But the way he was looking, it was like she was the only person in the world. And suddenly, he was holding up an iPod. It was rather odd, she mused, it wasn't 1980 and this wasn't Say Anything. But it was so endearing at the same time. So the only thing she could do was to lean slightly out of the window and smile. He looked up, embarrassed, and jammed his iPod back into his coat pocket. She shook her head, pulled out another Clove and light it. When she finished and looked down, he was gone.

"All's well that ends well," she figured and moved away from the window. She placed her Cloves back in her work tote and decided on another Lean Cuisine for dinner. After she watched some TV, she went to bed, but not without a smile on her lips when she thought about that mystery boy.


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I don't own American Idiot or any of the brand names that I call out. I'm lazy, haha. Thanks for reading! Do let me know if I can improve! Xo._

The next week passed by in a blur. She didn't see the boy and wondered if she dreamed him. She wondered if her loneliness was making her delusional. But she sucked up that feeling, picked up her head, and went to work. Working for a nonprofit was just okay. If she was honest with herself, she knew that she was overqualified and under-qualified at the same time. She just didn't know how to get sponsors but she was good with the general administration of things and she was paid well enough to live.

That Wednesday, she went out for some drinks with her co-workers, nothing too intense, just happy hour on a random middle of the week-night. She had a few beers and had a nice buzz going. She decided to step outside to smoke. That no smoking in bars rule was so dumb. She light one and looked around. New York was the most perfect city to people watch. She was just minding her own business. And then that kid from outside her window happened to walk past. He did a double take. So did she.

She was about to go inside, awkward encounters were so not her scene, right when he walked toward her. She didn't want to be rude. "Hi," she greeted him and smiled.

"Hi ... do you have a light?" He asked.

'This was just awesome', she thought, 'he's just coming up with some line to talk to me'. But he was just so oddly endearing with his plaid shirt, messy hair, and skinny black jeans. She relinquished her lighter.

"Cloves," he noted.

"Yeah ... I like the flavor," she responded. It was growing dark and she was getting cold. She was ill prepared for the weather, as she figured she was just going to smoke and go back in. They stood in awkward silence for a while.

"I'm Johnny," he said.

"I'm cold," she answered. Smooth.

"Oh, god, I'm sorry. D-do you want to go back in? I could maybe buy you a drink, like if you want me to," he proposed.

"I'd like that," and she smiled so brightly. He could feel himself melting and he reached out to take her hand. She took it and lead him to the bar, already forgetting about her co-workers.

She could feel her body immediately getting warm and she felt butterflies in her stomach.


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: Do I own American Idiot? Nope. Thanks Green Day. And a shout out goes to any labels. If I can improve on anything, let me know! Also, it is SUPER HARD to write in third person. Reviews would be nice! Thanks for reading. Xo!_

Their relationship, if you wanted to call it that, had blossomed into something that neither was sure of. They'd run into each other at bars or clubs around the city, they would usually end up making out (classy) and then she'd go back to her apartment alone.

She wasn't sure why. It was clear that they both liked each other. She wasn't quite sure what he did all day, but she knew he came from suburbia like she did. Sometimes he would be erratic, making out with such passion that she was sure that tonight would be the night and then by closing time, they would somehow lose each other and she could never find him in time.

One night she manned up and slipped him her address. She hoped it wasn't too presumptuous, but she figured if she offered her phone number, then he wouldn't call. She couldn't rationalize why she was so obsessive about this. She had never felt like this before. Normally she let the boys chase her. But when he kissed her, her skin felt on fire and the butterflies in her stomach intensified. Her knees went weak. It felt like they were made for each other. Like they were the only two people remaining on Earth.

And then, three nights later, he showed up. He lamely held up his iPod at her door and she smiled in spite of herself. She invited him in and went to smoke a cigarette. He went to the bathroom. Little did she know that he was just as smitten as she was. She thought it was odd that he went to the bathroom as soon as he arrived but shrugged it off. Maybe he was as nervous as she was. She snubbed out her cigarette and went to sit on the couch. He came out and joined her.


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Note: Apologies, y'all. I had every intention of updating in a timely manner but I started a new job and have been SUPER busy. Also, my boyfriend & I broke up and trust me when I say how Letterbomb-ish it really was. :l But it happened and it's over and that's why I've been quiet in a nutshell. Anyway, onto the story! As usual, I do not own anything other than my own thoughts._

After what seemed like forever, she reached for the remote. At the same moment he reached for her hand. The remote never got turned on. And somehow their heads and lips met in the middle. There was a lot of making out, clothes were in various stages of removal.

They managed to make it to her bedroom. He laid on her bed and she got on top, making out with the most passion either had felt in a very long time. They were down to tank tops and underwear. He ran his fingers down her arms, a shiver went up her spine. She ran her fingers through his hair. His hands went lower, her underpants were off. Eventually both of them were naked and nothing else mattered. They lost themselves in the rhythm and the passion. The buildup and anticipation of their near misses had heightened their feelings and the sensation was intense.

When it was over, they rested. Spent, she flopped to his right side, resting her head on his chest. He moved her curly hair aside and stroked the soft spot at the nape of her neck. She sighed, content to cuddle. His eyes were closing. He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. She nestled her head closer and snaked her arm to his other side. They slept for the rest of the night.


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's Note: Uh, I don't really have anything to say. Credit to the usual people and thanks for reading! :)_

She wished she could say she slept soundly but she didn't. Her thoughts were racing about how unusual this situation was. She wanted to call her friends from college, or open up to her work people but she hated feeling vulnerable. Even to her closest friends.

And he wasn't sleeping soundly either. In the middle of the night, he untangled her from his body and went to use the restroom again. He had a little bit of smack left and he intended to use it. She stirred when he left the room and settled on her stomach, breathing softly and evenly. As he prepared the drug, he thought about what had just happened and how he felt about it. About her. Deep feelings made him nervous. It had been a very long time since he felt something even close to what he was currently feeling. Therefore, he injected himself and instantly his racing heart began to calm. His palms weren't so sweaty. He vowed to take a shower as soon as he returned to his apartment. He willed the voice in his head to go away, it was urging him to go home. The voice was so persistent, however, that he had to leave.

So he did but not without leaving a note.

She woke up cold and lonely. She rubbed her eyes and stretched. It was confusing. She wasn't about to call HIM and act all clingy but she wished he would've spent the entire night. She wondered why he wouldn't stay. She wondered what she did. Or maybe it was how she looked. She couldn't dwell on it, though, not when she had a lot of work to do. So she focused on that, kept her head up, and her feelings to herself.

Meanwhile, he couldn't stop thinking about her. How soft her face was in his guitar calloused hands. How her big brown eyes would shine when she looked in his blue ones. How she moved her body, all the time, not just in bed, and the way she carried herself. She knew what she wanted and she knew how to get it. She wouldn't take anybody's shit. He admired that.

He had to see her again.

As luck would have it, he was coming home, coming off of a high he got at a club, and she was on her way to work. They met at her subway stop. She couldn't hide her wide grin. He dimly registered her, and even in his detox, his eyes light up. It was a Friday. She was going to a concert that night. She decided to invite him and hoped that he would show.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/n: Annnnd I'm back. For whatever reason, I am way more into American Idiot than Spring Awakening. Apologies. I really did want to finish "A New Chance" but I don't really care about Wendla and Melchior anyway. Back to this story ... thanks to the usual people. _

They stood there by the platform. She really didn't have that much time for his shit, no matter how much she liked the guy. She made her way to the stairs so she could make the transfer. He followed, lamely, like a puppy. She stopped, figuring she could hear him out and it wouldn't kill her.

"What?" Her brown eyes flashed, the smile faded. It was almost like he hallucinated it. She looked kind of annoyed.

With no time to think, not like he could think clear anyway, he drew her in close and kissed her on the lips.

She was surprised to say the least. "Come this show with me tonight. My apartment, 10." The words just flew out of her mouth. He said nothing and pulled away from her.

"I have to run, Johnny, I'm gonna be late for work." She sounded slightly exasperated. Why did she invite him, then? And then at once Johnny realized he had that annoying effect on people. He always did. Ah well.

She ran up the stairs, her tote threatening to swing off her shoulder.

He let her go. He walked back to the platform, waited for the train, and was home in twenty minutes. At a loss for what to do, he jerked off and fell asleep, mentally making a note to shower at some point that day.

When he woke up a solid eight hours later, he popped in the shower, and then went to replenish his supply at the appointed time & place with his dealer. He wanted to get enough to possibly share with his new friend.

He came home. It was late evening. He still had plenty of time, so he wrote to his friend from home about how much he liked her. Will would get a kick out of it, since Johnny NEVER wrote about girls, and Will was always ragging on Johnny, saying that he was gay.

"She's taking me to a show tonight. The band'll probably suck but at least I'll be with her."

Johnny didn't even recognize himself anymore. He was too far gone.


End file.
